


Destroy Me

by Freyjabee



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Adult Content, Angst, F/M, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:14:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23849518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freyjabee/pseuds/Freyjabee
Summary: When Jellal says destroy me, he really means it.
Relationships: Jellal Fernandes/Ultear Milkovich
Kudos: 5





	Destroy Me

When Jellal says _destroy me,_ he really means it. He doesn’t want to think, he doesn’t want to feel. He barely want to _be_. Staccato breaths and a lack of control, that’s the only thing he wants once he leaves the meeting and walks two blocks through the busy city to his apartment.

Ultear already on his balcony smoking her first cigarette of the night. Jellal throws a dark jean jacket over his grey hoody and joins her under the stars. They meet like this once a week and Jellal dreads it so much that somehow, barely with his knowledge, he’s come to depend on the toxic feeling. It’s reliable, at least. He would actually miss the feeling of dread if it were to up and walk away. It’s not healthy, but he’s learned in this world, you preach to heal with one breath and suck in poison with the next. It’s just the way of things.

His neighbours are old and though the sun has just gone down a short while ago, they’re all asleep, their apartments dark.

Ultear sits beneath the moon in a thin white cotton dress, looking like someone else’s dream. It’s not that Jellal doesn’t think she’s beautiful. She is. He just also knows how cruel she can be.

Her hair is pulled by the wind and her lips leave rings of scarlet on the cigarette. She flicks the end, leaving ash on the concrete balcony. Messy, but she used to use his Snake Plant as an ashtray until he complained so much she finally started using the ground; he counts this as a win.

Ultear asks, “How did your meeting go?”

Jellal takes her cigarette from her hand and breathes in the smoke so deep, it hurts, but even still, it doesn’t mar out the trauma he’s heard, not tonight, and not the nights before. You never know how terribly people can hurt each other until you’re three decades into life trying to run a recovery group for domestic abusers, until you’re the sounding board for all their pain and rage and fear until you’re the scarecrow they dress up as their saviour. _If he can recover and live normally, I can too!_

Jellal swallows. “I think we had some breakthroughs.”

“Yeah?”

He thinks of Sorano. “One of my clients is ready to make her amends.”

“Did you feel ready, too?” Ultear wonders.

Jellal clamps his teeth together. She doesn’t usually pry like this and her words draw up images of Erza Scarlet on her front porch, looking out at him from behind her screen. That day, she gripped the wooden frame so hard, her nailbeds bled. She’d said nothing to him and afterward, instead of feeling better, Jellal only felt worse.

He’s not the same person anymore, now he has medication and structure, but her words sting.

“How about you, Ultear?” Jellal’s only intention is to cut her down, but Ultear is like a raspberry bush, she flourishes after a good cutting.

Her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. “The only person I need to say sorry to doesn’t like to hear it.”

“Somehow, it never sounds sincere,” Jellal mutters.

Ultear stands from the plastic patio chair and steps against him. Her body is familiar against his, her curves and her scent. Sometimes, he thinks he loves her. Or the idea of her. Ultear is many things. The bomb that destroyed him. His lover. His façade. This little scorpion hiding in the leaves, waiting to sting him when he asks. She is razor blades and sleeping pills perfect, but she’s also cashmere dresses and witty jokes at family functions friendly.

She never hesitates to destroy him, not then, not now.

Her perfume is intoxicating as she wraps her arms around his neck and leans in close. He bends and kisses her without the spark and fanfare junior girls and boys seem to think it has. He can’t remember if kisses _ever_ used to be special things, though he knows they’re _supposed_ to be. The only thing they’re really good for is hurting people. Redheaded girls that thought they loved monsters. Monstrous boys who thought it might be okay to be terrible if someone loved them.

Ultear threads her hands through his hair and bites his lip. “You’re bothered.”

The truth is, he’s _always_ bothered, but breakthrough nights irk him the most. When distilled, he knows it’s jealousy. Tonight, Sorano looked honestly _terrified_ by what she was going to do but also relieved to be doing it. She has people that love her that need to know she’s getting the help she needs, and she still loves them.

“I don’t want to think anymore tonight.” _I want you to destroy me._

She smiles and leads him back into the apartment, past the living room and into the bedroom. She already has a gauntlet of toys out on Jellal’s dresser to choose from.

She leads Jellal to the bedside, sets him down, then admires her collection thoughtfully. Her eyes gleam wickedly once she’s decided.

“Get undressed.”

Ultear is also the perfect switch and seems to know exactly which version of her Jellal needs that day. Today, he doesn’t want to bully her around and feel in control, he wants to feel like he doesn’t always have to have the answer; someone else will have it for him.

He undresses, dropping his clothes on his computer chair. He’s stiff by the time he gets to his underwear. Ultear’s smile grows. She slides her fingers over his chest and his stomach and into the band of his underwear. Jellal’s expecting her to do something mean, like pull away or snap the band so he’s startled when she goes further, grabbing his warm cock with her equally warm hand.

She pulls him out and squeezes until he gasps, then pulls away again. Her hair slides over her shoulders as she looks up at him. Her lipstick has faded. She pulls down the straps of her dress and Jellal’s happy to see she isn’t wearing anything beneath, no bra, no shift. It falls to the floor and Ultear steps away from him, going for her favourite toy—a shiny black strapless vibrating dildo.

She sits on the bed and lies back with her legs spread, a silent command but a command still.

Jellal goes to her, using his tongue on the bud between her legs. He barely needs to do anything, to be truthful, just the thought of what she’s about to do makes her so horny, Jellal could make her come if he tried.

He doesn’t yet, part of the fun is seeing Ultear pink-cheeked, her fingers digging desperately into his sides.

He takes the dildo from her and inserts the hourglass end inside her. She stretches, moaning and pulls his head against her stomach, arching her hips up against his body. Her arousal triggers his own; his cock is hard, and he wants to feel something warm around it. He uses his hand first, jerking off to the feel of Ultear bluntly using his body to jam the dildo deeper inside.

She leans on her elbows and pushes him back before he can find a rhythm to fall into. Jellal puts his back against the headboard and breathes raggedly.

“Put your hands on your knees,” Ultear instructs in her gently commanding voice.

Jellal does.

“And spread your legs.”

He does that, too.

Ultear sweeps in for a kiss packed full of desire. It’s not the sweet thing young Jellal dreamed of, but it’s what he needs now to set fire to those memories. Those _misconceptions._ Life is a little different than what he’d imagined it would be, but for a few moments, he doesn’t have to think about that.

The head of Ultear’s dildo brushes against Jellal and he catches himself moaning. He can feel Ultear’s lips pulling up against his. She moves both hands up his legs in unison, stopping at the junction of his hips and digging her thumbs in, not quite touching him where he’s desperate to be touched but close enough that it’s pleasurable, in a maddening way.

“How’s that?” She lifts her hips, brushing his opening again. Jellal digs his nails into his knees.

“It’s good.” His words are wispier than he planned and get wispier still when Ultear takes her lubricant off the nightstand and slathers it up and down his cock, over his testicles, and at his entrance. He blindly reaffirms, “It feels good.”

Ultear grabs the shaft of her dildo and guides it to Jellal’s opening. He pants and closes his eyes, caught in the wild euphoria of it all as she slides in just a bit at first, so he can get used to the sensation of being penetrated by the vibrator, and then further. She holds his cock firmly as she does this, knowing just what he likes.

His breathing returns almost to normal and slowly, carefully, she starts to fuck him, getting in a bit deeper with each stroke until their bodies meet, skin on skin. She slides her hand up and down over his cock. The tip is dark red already and sensitive.

Jellal wants to touch her and finds the soft bud between her legs again. Ultear shudders and moans and gradually, her thrusts get faster, to the point where it’s almost uncomfortable, treading the fine line between pain and pleasure. That’s where Jellal is his best.

The first warning wave crashes over him, dizzying. “I’m going to come,” he nearly whispers.

“Louder.”

“I’m going to come. Fuck. Fuck, I’m going to come.” He repeats himself, and again, dousing the words in the desperation he feels building, knowing it’s Ultear’s favourite part.

“I want to, too,” Ultear sobs. “Keep going.”

It takes all his concentration to keep moving his thumb around her clit. She’s swollen and hot and nearly there.

She digs her fingernails into his thighs a millisecond before it happens and the startling pain tips him over. He sprays come up his middle and onto his chest.

For long moments, there are only the sounds of their breaths. Then Ultear stirs. She’s shaking. She does this sometimes, cries afterward, like she’s just so overwhelmed, she can’t help it. He doesn’t know why, and she doesn’t like to talk about it. Ultear’s never been an open book.

Before she can go very far, Jellal reaches out and grabs fistfuls of her satiny hair in one hand and cups her face in the other. Ultear seems startled. He kisses her. She gasps and closes her damp eyes, though his hold is gentle, and he doesn’t pull. She collapses into him, the fight going out of her and he holds her while she cries.

Sometimes, it’s the lightest touch, the softest, that destroys you. 


End file.
